Battle

 

Running, running, running, I cannot stop, I cannot catch my breath 

I have to keep moving, keep going, I cannot stop 

Heave…Breathe 

I am suffocating, I cannot catch my breath 

“I will win this battle”, he says 

 “I have your heart”, he says 

“I have your soul”, he says 

I’m slipping, I’m losing 

Heave…Breathe 

Slip, slash, crash, clash 

Our swords meet, he sneers, he knows 

My sword crashes to the ground, I turn to run 

He grabs me from behind, he feels me slipping away and he grabs tighter  

Never wanting to give up, surrender, give in, to let go 

My wings are starting to push out 

I am ready to be free, to live 

Pain fills my heart 

Consumes my soul 

Distorts my brain chemistry into a negative, depressive mess 

I cannot release it, him, he knows 

He is stronger now, he knows 

Pain sears in my wrist 

Scarlet burns and seeps in long lines, he knows 

He is aware of what he is doing, what he has done 

“For me”, he says 

I am fragile, I am weak 

Brittle bones, thinning waist, but I cannot stop 

I cannot satisfy his hunger, I want to but 

I know I never shall, I cannot breathe 

Heave…Breathe 

Relax 

Focus on myself 

Take care of myself 

Stop asking myself “What are you doing. You cannot eat that? 

Put some back that is too much!” 

HELP 

I want to scream 

I want to shout 

No sound comes out 

No one sees 

No one notices 

I seem normal, but he knows 

He makes plans 

Plans out my week, my meals, he knows 

He knows I cannot stop him 

I do not want to, he knows 

He knows I want to disappear, make life easier 

He knows I struggle to defeat him 

So he grips me tighter, I am suffocating 

Heave…Breathe